Actual mail from an actual reader. If it wasn’t could I do this?
Hey, knuckleheads! Whatever happened to “Happy Memorial Day From the Poop”? You’ve had all the other holidays. I waited all weekend for the go-ahead to have a happy Memorial Day and since it never came, I had a crappy Memorial Day. I mean how much effort is it to post that tired picture of Couper asleep with the beer toy and type, “Happy Memorial Day from the Poop”??? You wouldn’t even have to say something nice about the troops. I mean it’s not like we’re at war or anything. Oh, yeah, we are. Pinko Commie Imbeciles.
Fort Lee, NJ
Mr. Feder, for a guy from New Jersey, you sure do ask a lot of questions. You are right about us forgetting Memorial Day. A couple of weeks ago I was in the computer room, thinking about writing the Memorial Day post when Couper walked in to play. He had been sleeping all day, so I figured I had better give him some attention. I threw the Mr. Hiney a few times when he started coughing really bad. Then all of a sudden, he throws up all over the floor. And not just a regular throw up, but a three thrust throw up. It was disgusting. After getting a roll of paper towels, I looked down at the gooey pile of puke and what did I see? Two little stuffed turtle feet that Couper had chewed off a toy over a week and a half earlier. It had been sitting there in his stomach for two weeks and now it was sitting in a pile of vomit on the floor. It was gross! I thought I was gonna die! I looked at Couper and said, “Hey, Couper, what are you trying to do, make me sick or something?” Huh? What does this have to do with Memorial Day? Well it just goes to show you it’s always something. If it's not one thing, it's another. If you aren’t writing a blog post wishing everyone a happy Memorial Day, you are on the floor scooping up dog vomit containing two week old stuffed turtle feet with paper towels. It’s like my father, Big Big Buddy, always told me, “make sure you write your Memorial Day post early, because you never know what might come out of your dog while playing with his Mr. Hiney”
Happy belated Memorial Day from the Poop. You can always remember those who served in June too.
(Instead of the tired picture of Couper with the toy beer, here is a picture of Couper dropping a Mr. Hiney from the top of a beer cooler)
(And yes, Couper really did throw up two stuffed turtle feet.)
(Thanks to Dave and Gilda for the material)
(The word "actual" in the first sentence of this post actually mean "made up")