Friday, October 1, 2010

Happy 8th Birthday Couper!!!

Happy 8th Birthday to our title puppy, Couper!

Last year I wrote the world's most confusing post about him turning seven, but having more energy than he had at six. Honestly, read it. It makes little to no sense. I have to find out what I was taking that day and get back on it immediately.

Anyhow, the point of last year's birthday wish was supposed to be that Couper had a lot more energy than he had in a long time. I am happy to report that this year is no different. He is still playing at every opportunity. In fact, he now likes to wake up a half hour or so before us, just to get a head start on playing. As you can imagine, that does not go over well.

All this playing has had at least one positive effect. Here is a picture of Couper last September:

He is a little pudgy there.

And here is a picture of him this September.

This is the classic Nutrisystem before and after picture. Not only is he thinner, but he is actually kind of cut (can't really tell from that picture, you'll just have to believe me this time). He is being fed the same (same as Godiva, who herself is a little on the pudgy side). Because they are September pictures, and we live in Arizona, he has not been regularly walked since May. So, the only difference is his activity level. He has had more than a year of puppy-like playing. It really shows. (A giant knock on wood for all of this good health).

Couper's Mommy and I have been trying to lose a pound or two ourselves. We tried to use Couper as our inspiration, but we came to the realization that we don't love doing anything as much as Couper loves playing (anything productive anyhow...I am sure I love sitting on the sofa, drinking beer, and watching TV almost as much). Writing blog posts burns calories, doesn't it???

So, the Poop wishes the new thinner Couper a happy 8th birthday. As always, Couper not only has a birthday, not just a birthweek, but a birthmonth. They don't call it Dachtober for nothing.

Wednesday, September 22, 2010


I hate travel.

I hate planning for travel. I hate travel websites. I hate comparing flights. I hate picking flights. I hate rental car websites. I hate hotel websites. I hate travel websites.

I hate airport shuttles. I hate air caps. I hate ticket agents. I hate security. I hate taking shoes off. I hate their seemingly random rules. I hate the metal detector. I hate the line. I hate finding a place to put shoes back on. I hate finding the stuff that went through the conveyor.

I hate gates. I hate the restaurants around the gates (the bars, not so much). I hate the gate agents. I hate the check-in and boarding process.

I hate finding seats. I hate overhead bins. I hate people I don’t know sitting next to me. I hate flight attendants. I hate the safety spiel (are we going to have a water landing??? great). I hate the seat in an upright position. I hate returning to the gate for “precautionary measures”.

I hate the take-off. I hate the cloud/mountain turbulence. I hate the Fasten Seat-belt sign. I hate that sharp turn they always have to do because we had to take off in the wrong direction.

I hate the drink cart. I hate the drink prices. I hate the snack. I hate the bathrooms. I hate the movie. I hate the in-flight turbulence.

I hate the approach. I hate circling to wait for permission to land. I hate the touch-down. I hate the screeching stop. I hate taxiing. I hate waiting for a gate.

I hate deplaning. I hate the fake sincere wave goodbye. I hate the other terminal’s gate.

I hate the walk to baggage claim. I hate baggage claim. I hate baggage.

I hate rental car shuttles and/or trams. I hate rental car agents (they can take the reservation, they just don’t know how to keep the reservation). I hate finding the rental car. I hate checking out the rental car. I hate rental cars.

I hate hotels. I hate checking-in. I hate finding rooms. I hate card keys. I hate bellhops if and when they exist.

I hate hotel rooms. I hate hotel bathrooms. I hate hotel showers. I hate hotel shower soap. I hate hotel shower shampoo. I hate hotel toilet paper. I hate hotel beds. I hate hotel TVs (does it always have to turn on to the pay-per-view channel? Don’t you have enough of my money?). I hate hotel clocks. I hate hotel wi-fi (if they even have it).

I hate hotel breakfasts. I hate hotel restaurants. Hotel bars can be OK.

I hate returning rental cars.

I hate everything in reverse about airports, flights, airports again, and shuttles.

However, add all that hate up. Multiply it by 1000. And that doesn’t even come close to how much I hate boarding our puppies.

Side Note: Because our flight was so early, we had to board them late in the afternoon the day before we left. Dropping them off was bad enough (with our two pages of instructions, box full of foods, two beds, blankets, toys, and recently worn shirts - so they would not forget us). Yes, Couper barked and Godiva whined. But worse was coming home to an empty house. It was horribly quiet. Not in the barking all the time sense. Just in the lack of activity sense. There was no one shoving a toy at me. Or biting my toe. Neither Couper's Mommy or I slept well without them crawling all over us in bed. I accidentally stepped on a toy (not difficult to do) and Couper didn't come racing to it. It was very strange and very sad.

Side Note 2: On the third day of our vacation, I got a call on my cell phone from our home area code. My heart stopped. I told Couper's Mommy, "I think it might be the vet". Her heart stopped. I sheepishly answered the phone.

Caller: Hello. This is Jan from Grayhawk Animal Hospital. Is this Big Buddy?
Me: Yes [I am about to have a panic attack]
Caller: I am calling about Couper and Godiva.
Me: Uh huh [I look over at Couper's Mommy. She is terrified]
Caller: I just wanted you to know that they are doing fine.
Me: Uh, thanks [My blood pressure drops 200 points]

Now, it is great that they kept us updated. We called them the first day, and were going to call them later the third day. But that scared the crap out of us. We thought they would only call in case of emergency. I had a split second nightmare of having to authorize surgery because Couper ate Godiva.

So, a word of advice to all dog boarders out there. Don't call. And if you do, make the first words, "Your dogs are fine, just thought you should know"

Side Note 3: I hate travel. Just in case you hadn't heard. Or forgot.

Sunday, May 9, 2010

Happy Mommy's Day Couper&Godiva's Mommy

Couper and Godiva would like to wish Couper&Godiva's Mommy a happy Mommy's Day!

They get to appreciate their mommy more this Mommy's Day since their mommy is traveling this weekend to see Couper&Godiva's Grandmommy. So, it is up to me to remember to feed them, and take them out to go potty, and make sure they aren't eating the living room carpet. This single puppy parenting is exhausting. So even though they are on edge, wondering who stole their mommy and barking at any and every noise, and miss their mommy very much, I am not sure they miss her more than I do.

Happy Mommy's Day to all the puppy mommies!

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Happy 2nd Birthday Godiva!!!

Happy 2nd Birthday to our favorite puppy girl, Godiva!!!

It is hard to believe that our little girl is 2 already. I went with pictures of her doing two of her favorite things, napping and playing football. I really need a picture of her stealing socks.

In honor or her birthday, a quick Godiva story:

We like to kid about Godiva chewing hands and feet, but she has grown out of that a little. She really has become the cuddle puppy that we were hoping for. However, just snuggling up next to a leg on the sofa sometimes isn't enough for her. Her new thing is to climb up on either me or her mommy and smother us. Not just a full body hug, but climbing onto our body and then putting her head over our face. She does this on the sofa, or even more fun, in bed in the middle of the night. To make it more fun, she will then give us little licks. If she positions herself just right, her tongue will make it into a nostril or two. Yes, that is every bit as unpleasant to experience as it is to read. We wanted a cuddle puppy. We wanted the bitey puppy gone. We got it. Just a bit more of extreme than we were planning on.

Happy Birthday Godiva!!! From Couper, Mommy, and Daddy!!!

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

I Bought Godiva a Snuggie - Now She's Smarter Than Me

If you are a fan of late night television (or programs that can't sell real advertising - you know - Coke, Budweiser, Ford, Depends .etc), then you know what a Snuggie is. For those more fortunate, a Snuggie is a blanket with sleeves. Remember the old days, when blankets didn't have sleeves? Ever try to use a remote, or read a book, or drink some coffee while wrapped up in one of those things? Impossible! You were trapped like a dolphin in a tuna net. Pretty much all you could do was scratch yourself. Well, a Snuggie solves that problem. It has sleeves built right into the blanket. So now you can eat a piece of pie, or do a crossword puzzle, or do the wave all while staying warm.

That's great for people, but what about our best friends? Are they doomed to inactivity while trying to stay warm? Nope. They came out with Snuggies for Dogs.

And I got Godiva one for Christmas. Why?

Well, for one thing, she gets cold easily. At the very least, she shows the effects of the cold more than Couper.

More importantly, take a look at the box:

If you know anything about us (specifically me), we do not pass up items that have Little Buddies on them. So, realistically, since the box has a red dachshund on it, I should have gotten this for Couper. Except that the Petsmart did not have the blue Snuggies for Dogs in that size (side note: I knew the size was going to be too small as well, but the next size up had one of the other leading dog breeds on it, and I was not having any of that. I was getting the box with the Little Buddy on the front, right size or not. I really should be institutionalized, or at least get a thorough check-up).

I was pretty excited about my purchase, until I looked at the back of the box. Remember how people could be warm and productive with Snuggies for Humans? Well look at the picture on the bottom left:

A little closer:

That's right. Dogs playing backgammon. Suddenly I got scared. I can't play backgammon. Couper's Mommy can't play backgammon. There is a good chance that you can't play backgammon. In fact I think backgammon is one of those games that the Most Interesting Man in the World plays (I may be confusing backgammon with backarat, but even so, I bet the 10,000th Most Interesting Man in the World plays backgammon. Point being, I think you have to have a Most Interesting Man ranking to play backgammon). Now, because she has a Snuggie for Dogs, Godiva is going to be playing backgammon. She'll probably demand that we get one for Couper so that she will have someone to play backgammon with, because, again, we sure can't play backgammon.

Now, it isn't as if I haven't long ago resigned myself as Couper and Godiva's unpaid servant. I realize they control the house. I know it every third step I take in the house when my foot lands on a toy or a bone. However, I always thought I had the intellectual upper hand. I have read books (a few that didn't even involve coloring). I graduated from college somehow. I can add two two-digit numbers together. But now I envisioned an intellectual shift in the house. The puppies playing backgammon would just be the start. They would also have us turn off "The Girls Next Door" and turn on the Discovery Channel. Godiva would spend her time solving quadradic equations while Couper studied Shakespeare. It would be the Planet of the Puppies, with Couper's Mommy and me as Nova and Charlton Heston and Couper and Godiva as Dr. Zaius and Zira.

Then we opened up the box and put the (too small) Snuggie for Dogs on Godiva:

Have you ever seen a happier puppy? I'll be lucky if the Humane Society does not break down the door and arrest me for subjecting her to this. Not only would there be no backgammon, there would be no movement whatsoever until one of us took this insane contraption off of her. And since she and Couper like to chew blankets anyhow, there are plenty of leg holes for backgammon or holding a bone anyhow.