Happy Birthday Godiva! - I Share My Birthday With a Dachshund

Couper's Mommy is a twin. She has shared her birthday with her sister since day one. Shared presents. Shared parties. Shared cake.

My cousin's wife was born on December 24. She shares her birthday with, well, Santa and Jesus. No escaping from the secular and spiritual side of Christmas.

Well, that all pales in comparison to what I face. My birthday is March 12. Godiva's is March 11. I share my birthday with a dachshund.

I don't even get to go first. Nope. Godiva gets March 1 (February 29 in a leap year) thru March 11. I get maybe 45 minutes somewhere around 6pm on March 12. Then it is Godiva for the rest of the month. All the parties. All the presents. All the parades. Godiva. Godiva. Godiva. Not to mention yummies and the belly rubs.

For 43 years all I had to compete with was Liza Minnelli, Darryl Strawberry, and a bunch of people who I know as much about as they know about me. A tough task to be sure, but definitely handleable. No longer. For the last 8 years I share a birthday with this:

I can't compete with that.

Happy Birthday Godiva! I'm honored to give up my birthday to you!

Teenage Ninja Dachshund - Happy 13th Birthday Couper!

Happy 13th birthday to our favorite Little Buddy, Couper!

Yes, we have another teenager. Like with most teens, he takes a few more naps than when he was a pre-teen, but as you can see, he is always ready to play the second he awakes.

He is now into some dog-year teen habits too.

He really likes to wake us up before our alarm goes off so that he can go potty and eat. He somehow knows how to pick *the* most annoying time to do so as well, like 15 minutes before the alarm, so that going back to sleep is impossible. He uses the time to his advantage as well. It isn't just barking or licking. Those are last resorts. He gets some playing in...and just happens to get his ball "stuck" so that he can whine and bark about it and maybe get a tired/annoyed ball throw or two from me out of it.

He is also getting his Big Buddy's hearing. We're not entirely sure if it is a hearing problem or a listening problem (or like me, both!). It is harder to get his attention these days and some sounds seem to sneak by him (they are quickly picked up by Godiva and properly barked at).

We also now have a vision issue. When he was really little, he was stung in the left eye by a bee. It was always amazing to us that he could see out of that eye at all. Now it is really cloudy. The vet says that there is no way he can see out of it. He said we could get eye drops, but that would really be for our benefit, not his. Or he could get lens replacement surgery, which is a case of the cure sounding worse than the ailment.

But it is Couper's birthday, so let's celebrate. He is happy. He plays after his naps (and early early in the morning). He eats. He drinks. He poops. And he still loves presents.

Happy 13th Little Buddy!!! (And yes, his birthday is October 1, but as always, Couper gets a birthday month).

Frankie Doodle Turns 13!

We're late for Frankie's birthday, so we might as well combine that with being late for the Fourth of July. So happy 13th birthday Frankie! And happy 239th birthday America!

I saw this comic and immediately thought of Frankie:

We've had Frankie two years, what are we calling him these days?

Frankie/Frank: Yes, we still call him by his name. That proves the intersection into the Pet's Name circle.

Frankie Dog: Not sure why, but we feel the need to append what kind of creature he is to his name. It isn't like we also have a Frankie Cat, or a Frankie Turtle, or even an Uncle Frankie.

Franklin: We've decided that this is his proper name. I'm guessing the original intent was that Frankie was short for Frankfurter. I like Franklin. Sounds Presidential. I think it's going to make a comeback. To combine this with the last entry, his full name is Franklin T Puppy Dog. The T stands for "The". 

Frankie Doodle: Makes sense as a derivative of Yankee Doodle. But make more sense when we have a Godiva Doo(dle) and a Couper Doo(dle). Makes them a family of sorts. The Doodle family, but a family nonetheless.

Frank the Tank: This is the name he came into our house with, but we are retiring it. At his last vet visit, he weighed in at 14+ pounds, down from 25.8 when we first got him. We actually think we may need to beef him up a little, which is more than OK with him.

Jumpin' Jack Flash: Because of how he jumps when his breakfast/dinner is ready...as if he could reach the counter and grab it. Someday. This is also a way better Stones song name for him than "Ruby Tuesday" or "Sister Morphine". 

So, we are pretty much on track with the chart. More of his real name than they show, but nothing incoherent.

What about Couper and Godiva? They are definitely in the fourth year onward graph. We did this exercise with them previously, but what's new?

Couper:

Coupee (Koo-pee): Sort of the in-between of Coupe and Couper. But a lot more fun to say. Especially when you make it Coupeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! On the graph this is kind of a combination of the inner circle and the outer circle. Not sure how to diagram that.

Godiva:

Diva: Not dee-va, which is what she is and often deserves to be called. But Dive-a as in Godiva without the Go (Guh). I catch my self saying that and wonder, how lazy have I gotten that I can't add the Go? Worse, I have caught my self calling her Dive. Not sure if that is lazy for Diva, or for DiverDoo. I really don't like when I call her Dive. Stop that me. Don't make Dive a line item the next time I do this. Anyhow, Dive-a is not a word and definitely on the outside lane of the diagram.

Back to the main point, to honor Frankie's birthday, here is one of my favorite pictures ever, a rare action shot of Frankie playing. If you squint really hard, you can even imagine him playing with the ball (though in reality, he was chasing Godiva, or more likely sprinting to the door for post-potty yummies).

Happy 13th Frankie!!!

Happy 7th Birthday Godiva!

Our little bundle of mischief, Godiva, turns 7 today. Yes, at 7 she is still mischief. A notorious sock thief, her picture is posted on the wall of every Kohl's in a 100 mile radius.

So what does the puppy princess want on her 7th birthday? Let's take a look:

 A belly rub

 A big ball to fight and destroy

To sit on her daddy's lap while he's working.

Done. Done. And let's hope we won the lottery and she can sit on my lap while not working.

Happy 7th birthday Godiva!

Twelve!

Twelve.

What a cool number. What other number has so many other names? A dozen. Noon. Midnight. A foot.

Twelve ounces in a beer or a soda. A twelve pack. Twelve ounce curls. Twelve Step Program.

Twelve Disciples. Twelve Days of Christmas.

Twelve jurors. Twelve Angry Men.

Twelve volt.

Roger Staubach was 12. Terry Bradshaw was 12. Joe Freakin' Namath was 12.

Twelve O'Clock High, Oceans Twelve, Cheaper by the Dozen, The Dirty Dozen, Rocky Twelve, The Hangover XII. The twelve dwarfs. Twelve is Enough. My Twelve Sons. Twelve's Company. A Dozen and a Half Men.

As if that all wasn't enough, now our Little Buddy Couper is twelve! Twelve is now like, twelve times cooler.

Happy Birthday Little Buddy!!!!!!!!!!!!

Happy 12th (?) Birthday (??) Frankie!!!

We would like to wish our newest family member Frankie a happy birthday!

Except that we don't really know when his birthday is. When we adopted him last April, we asked and essentially got a shrug. When we asked how old he was, we got an approximation. Old vet records that we got didn't help, so we made stuff up.

Back of the envelope math said that he was 11. We think that he is slightly older than Couper, who had turned 10 the October before. So, 11 it was.

As for the date, we think he was born before April in actuality. Frankie's New Mommy seems to recall seeing him during a Spring Break visit when he was a puppy. So really, he was likely born no later than January. But then you have to pick a random date in January, and nothing other than New Year's Day stands out (and that already is a holiday). Plus it could fall on an NFL Playoff day and that would confuse everything.

So, without anything actual to go on, we figured let's assign his adoption date as his birthday. Kind of his rebirth. That way we could celebrate the abstract with the concrete. So, April 14th it is. (Yes, I know today is not April 14th...that is my fault).

So, how is Frankie doing a year later? Well, he has lost a lot of weight. No longer does his tummy drag on the ground. He also has a good looking dog shape when looking from above. It is amazing how easy it is to put someone else on a diet! His coat is also better. We put a drop or two of olive oil in his food every night and it seems to have really helped.

With weight loss, he breathes better and snores less. He also moves better. He still doesn't play, but when he goes outside and poops, he will pounce back to the door to get his yummie. Which of course leads to his real exercise; whenever it is time for yummies or meals, he jumps up and down on his mat like it was a trampoline. If said yummie is not forthcoming, he woofs and lets you know about it. If his dinner is ready and we are doing something unnecessary, like say, making our dinner, he follows us around and lets us know about it. We grill a lot and he has figured out that when I come in with food, it is just about time for him to get his dinner. So when I go outside, he runs to the door to make sure I am bringing something in. When it is finally (!!!) time for him to get breakfast/dinner, he jumps up and down like a jumping bean again. Because he is puppy #3, he gets his dish last, which means while we are bending down do put Couper's and Godiva's on the floor, he is practically knocking us in the butt. His enthusiasm doesn't stop there. At first we bought him a regular bowl like Couper and Godiva were using. However, he would eat his dinner in literally 10 seconds. Gulp, gulp, gulp, done. So, we found one of those complicated bowls with the bumps and sections so that he would slow down. It has worked, though he still finishes before Couper and way before Godiva.

Now all this leads us to worry at times that we are starving him. But it isn't like he is skin and bones, just way better than what he was. When we take him to the vet we will know more (and he will probably tell us he is still overweight - that's just what vets do).

But the point to all this is that Frankie had a birthday (??). We celebrated his 12th (?) birthday, but really it was his first birthday celebration. Having been here a year, he has seen birthday celebrations for Couper and Godiva, so he should know the birthday drill: Special dinner, yummies, presents, songs, and a puppy parade...you know, just like every other day, but it is his birthday.

So how did Frankie do? He was kind of nonplussed. Couper and Godiva saw presents and reacted the way they always do, like Frankie at mealtime. Frankie, maybe having seen their present frenzy before and realizing it does not immediately lead to eating (though there are food items in the bags) went to lie down. So, even putting a bag in his bed led to a scene like below:

Couper: My present!!!
Frankie: OK. OK. OK.

But in the end everyone got to enjoy a fun birthday party:

So happy 12th (?) (1st???) birthday (??) Frankie!

Happy 6th Birthday Godiva!!!

Happy 6th birthday to our favorite puppy girl, Godiva. Or put another way, happy third anniversary of Godiva's supposedly becoming a good girl. Waiting........waiting........waiting........

The picture above has Godiva in her favorite place, standing (well sitting) guard at the back door waiting for lizards or birds or something. Yes, those are her nose and paw prints on the glass.

We have been very fortunate with her health in the last year. Every day we are reminded that she has had back surgery, just by the way she walks. Her back left leg never really came all the way back. In November, she showed signs of pain. A couple of screams from gentle touches. Sitting and not wanting to move. We were petrified that she somehow hurt her back again. So, off to the Emergency vet we went. The initial diagnosis was an injured back left knee. Maybe even an ACL tear. Now, I watch a lot of NFL. I see a lot of ACL tears. There was no way she had an ACL tear. (Godiva's Mommy, were she to have written this, would say that she has had an ACL tear; but she isn't writing this and she doesn't watch as much NFL as I do, so my NFL ACL proof is the proof of record). We got away with some pain medicine, an anti-inflammatory, and a "let's see how it goes".

It went pretty well, despite Godiva being militant about not taking pills. She was tough to give pills to after her back surgery, but we finally were able to crack her. Not this time. Cheese? Nope. Peanut butter? Nope. Liverwurst? Nope. Shoving it down her throat (the method that worked after back surgery)? Yup...then two steps later, out it came. So that's a Nope. Godiva's mommy read on the internet that quick popping four liverwurst balls in a dog's mouth with the third containing the pill would work. It did! For two days. Then, Nope! So, she wasn't exactly on the prescribed road to recovery when the pain popped up again.

Same emergency vet, same diagnosis, ACL. But this time, he wanted us to meet with the surgeon to see if he thought Godiva would need ACL surgery (only $2000, less than half her back surgery!). So we set up an appointment, two days after Christmas, with the surgeon who did her back surgery. Happy Holidays!

So, we met with the surgeon. He remembered her from the back surgery and recovery and saw that her back left leg was basically in the same condition it was the December before. His diagnosis: The other vet was insane (yes, they work at the same facility). Basically if she had a torn ACL, her leg would be up in the air and she wouldn't be able to put any weight on it (just like the NFL! - and perhaps Godiva's Mommy that time she tore her ACL). He could barely find any pain in the knee. His recommendation, more pills (that went about as well as the first round did), rest, and if anything flared up, come see him directly. Knock on wood, we haven't been back.

The only downside? I was looking forward to Godiva having an Adrian Peterson type comeback following ACL surgery. Alas, our puppy girl may never rush for 1,000 yards again.

 



So, happy and healthy sixth birthday Diver Doo! And despite my earlier crack, you are a good girl, most of the time.

This One Goes To Eleven

Happy eleventh birthday to our little buddy, Couper.

I can think of no better tribute to birthday number eleven, than this exchange from the movie Spinal Tap (quote courtesy IMDB):

Nigel Tufnel: The numbers all go to eleven. Look, right across the board, eleven, eleven, eleven and...

Marty DiBergi: Oh, I see. And most amps go up to ten?

Nigel Tufnel: Exactly.

Marty DiBergi: Does that mean it's louder? Is it any louder?

Nigel Tufnel: Well, it's one louder, isn't it? It's not ten. You see, most blokes, you know, will be playing at ten. You're on ten here, all the way up, all the way up, all the way up, you're on ten on your guitar. Where can you go from there? Where?

Marty DiBergi: I don't know.

Nigel Tufnel: Nowhere. Exactly. What we do is, if we need that extra push over the cliff, you know what we do?

Marty DiBergi: Put it up to eleven.

Nigel Tufnel: Eleven. Exactly. One louder.

Marty DiBergi: Why don't you just make ten louder and make ten be the top number and make that a little louder?

Nigel Tufnel: [pause] These go to eleven.

Couper absolutely, positively and now literally goes to eleven.

Happy Birthday Little Buddy!

Happy 10th Birthday Little Buddy!!!

The Poop would like to wish a very very happy 10th birthday to the bestest Little Buddy in the whole wide world, Couper.

Apparently we like Couper, as those are all his presents that he is trying to get to.

I can't believe our little puppy is 10, but he just got a clean bill of health (knock on wood) and he still likes to play more than anything in the world.

Couper playing blankee.

Couper playing wall ball and his throw it off the bed game.

Happy 10th Little Buddy!!!

Happy X0 Birthday, Couper/Godiva's Mommy!!!

Yesterday, Couper and Godiva's Mommy celebrated a milestone birthday. We were all too busy celebrating to post, so this is a day late. (That's my excuse. It is now in print on the internet, so it must be true)

Anyhow, 10 years ago yesterday, Couper and Godiva's Mommy To Be also celebrated a milestone birthday. She was a mess. It was all she could to keep from climbing the wall and holding the clock at July 24, 2002 11:59PM forever.

This year? No problem. Bring it on.

The difference? Let's run the numbers:

Dachshunds Owned
2002: 0
2012: 2

Seems pretty clear now. Ten years ago, Couper and Godiva's Mommy To Be was 0% on her way to her childhood dream of owning three dachshunds. Today, Couper and Godiva's Mommy is 66.7% there. Makes all the difference in the world.

Happy Birthday Couper and Godiva's Mommy!!!

Happy Fourth Birthday Diverdoo!!!

Happy fourth birthday to our favorite puppy girl, Godiva!

Unfortunately, it seems that Godiva got into something she shouldn't have and is a bit under the weather. It is amazing, considering all the things that she gets into (and all the things that she gets into that we have no idea that she gets into), that she is not under the weather 24/7/365. So, we are going to postpone her birthday celebration until next weekend so she can properly get all wound up about her new toys and yummies.

Happy 4th Diverdoo!!!

Who Are You Guys?!?

Last weekend we went to Dick's (huh huh) Sporting Goods to buy a small basketball for Godiva's birthday. Seems the other basketballs we had gotten for her on other holidays had mysteriously been beaten up and flattened. We suspect owls.

Anyhow, the ball is not the point of this exercise. Not entirely. When we go out, we keep Couper and Godiva gated in the kitchen. The kitchen is about 25 feet from the laundry room, which leads to the garage.

When we got home from Dick's (huh huh), we put the bag containing the basketball on the dryer in the laundry room. We then took the dogs out to poop, made and had dinner, went out to do our post-dinner potties, and cleaned up. Only then, a good hour and a half to two hours after we got home, did we let the puppies out from the kitchen area.

Upon opening the gate, they sprinted directly to the laundry room and attempted (comically, because they are little dachshunds) jumping to get on the dryer. The only new item on the dryer was the bag containing the ball that we had gotten. There was no neglected package of steaks from Costco. There was no bag of dog food from their gourmet puppy store. And, they do not under normal circumstances whine, jump, and bark at the dryer. Someway, somehow, they knew that there was a present for them on that dryer and they were determined to get it.

All of which prompted Couper's Mommy to say, "Who are you guys?!?" Cue Butch and Sundance:

So, yes, the point of this exercise was to link to Butch and Sundance, but really, how do these dogs know these things? How did they know that was a ball up there (and not a small tire, or a plunger or something)? How did they know it was for them (and not for their out of shape daddy...I guess that is not a mystery)? How did they know it was there (and how did they know it was in the bedroom when we later moved it there)? And, in the end, who really are you guys?

Happy 9th Birthday Little Buddy!!!

Happy 9th Birthday to our founder and inspiration, Couper.

So, not to get off subject, but we are in a bit of an economic mess in this country right now. A lot of smart people have a lot of smart ideas about how to get us out of it. The smart folks on the left say, tax the rich and the government will use the money to create jobs. The smart folks on the right say, cut taxes and companies will use the savings to create jobs. The dumb-ass dachshund blogger says, have everyone get a dachshund. It can happen through taxes and government give-aways. It can happen through tax cuts and private incentives. I don't care. Just get a dachshund in everyone's hands. Then, once a year, that dachshund will have a birthday. And the dachshund owner will go to four stores and spend triple digit dollars on birthday presents. I mean, look at those eyes in the picture above. Are you not going to get him lots and lots of birthday presents? And the genius of this solution is that it is not a one time or limited time solution. This is no holiday rush. No Black Friday. Multiple dachshund birthdays every day of the year. Economic crisis solved. Now who is the dumb-ass and who is the smart folk?

Anyhow, we may have gone a bit overboard on presents for Couper's birthday (and as Couper's Mommy reminds me, by "we", I mean "I"). But, it must be a special birthday, because the Beatles couldn't stop singing chanting about it:




Number 9...Number 9...Number 9...Number 9

Happy Birthday Little Buddy!!!

Happy 3rd Birthday Godiva!!!

Happy third birthday to our little puppy girl Godiva!

According to one independent expert, three is when dachshund puppy girls grow up. We have been counting down the days. Gone are the days of 2AM wake-up calls and eating beds and chewing toes (human's and Mr. Hiney's) and whining incessantly for dinner. Finally we can leave our dirty socks on the floor where they belong. The laundry hamper is going back to IKEA! Yup, we're going to really enjoy the new Godiva and it all starts today...because it sure wasn't that way yesterday.

No matter what, we wish Godiva the happiest birthday ever (it better be, we spent enough on presents and cards). She may even get an extra bellyrub out of the deal.

(Fun added bellyrub update. When Godiva wants a bellyrub in the morning, I make her wait until I am out of the shower, dried off, and dressed. The last part of the equation is putting my pants on. So, if she is not in the room, I will call for her, "Godiva, I'm putting my pants on" and she comes running down the hall. The last couple of days, whenever I am putting on pants, morning, changing after work, putting on pajamas at night, Godiva thinks that is bellyrub time. When she sees pants, she runs up the stairs to the bed and rolls over. And of course, I give in. This of course wouldn't be an issue if we lived in a pants-free society as I have been lobbying for since the late '80's. Damn societal hang ups.)

Happy 8th Birthday Couper!!!

Happy 8th Birthday to our title puppy, Couper!

Last year I wrote the world's most confusing post about him turning seven, but having more energy than he had at six. Honestly, read it. It makes little to no sense. I have to find out what I was taking that day and get back on it immediately.

Anyhow, the point of last year's birthday wish was supposed to be that Couper had a lot more energy than he had in a long time. I am happy to report that this year is no different. He is still playing at every opportunity. In fact, he now likes to wake up a half hour or so before us, just to get a head start on playing. As you can imagine, that does not go over well.

All this playing has had at least one positive effect. Here is a picture of Couper last September:

He is a little pudgy there.

And here is a picture of him this September.

This is the classic Nutrisystem before and after picture. Not only is he thinner, but he is actually kind of cut (can't really tell from that picture, you'll just have to believe me this time). He is being fed the same (same as Godiva, who herself is a little on the pudgy side). Because they are September pictures, and we live in Arizona, he has not been regularly walked since May. So, the only difference is his activity level. He has had more than a year of puppy-like playing. It really shows. (A giant knock on wood for all of this good health).

Couper's Mommy and I have been trying to lose a pound or two ourselves. We tried to use Couper as our inspiration, but we came to the realization that we don't love doing anything as much as Couper loves playing (anything productive anyhow...I am sure I love sitting on the sofa, drinking beer, and watching TV almost as much). Writing blog posts burns calories, doesn't it???

So, the Poop wishes the new thinner Couper a happy 8th birthday. As always, Couper not only has a birthday, not just a birthweek, but a birthmonth. They don't call it Dachtober for nothing.

Happy 2nd Birthday Godiva!!!

Happy 2nd Birthday to our favorite puppy girl, Godiva!!!

It is hard to believe that our little girl is 2 already. I went with pictures of her doing two of her favorite things, napping and playing football. I really need a picture of her stealing socks.

In honor or her birthday, a quick Godiva story:

We like to kid about Godiva chewing hands and feet, but she has grown out of that a little. She really has become the cuddle puppy that we were hoping for. However, just snuggling up next to a leg on the sofa sometimes isn't enough for her. Her new thing is to climb up on either me or her mommy and smother us. Not just a full body hug, but climbing onto our body and then putting her head over our face. She does this on the sofa, or even more fun, in bed in the middle of the night. To make it more fun, she will then give us little licks. If she positions herself just right, her tongue will make it into a nostril or two. Yes, that is every bit as unpleasant to experience as it is to read. We wanted a cuddle puppy. We wanted the bitey puppy gone. We got it. Just a bit more of extreme than we were planning on.

Happy Birthday Godiva!!! From Couper, Mommy, and Daddy!!!

Scenes From a Spoiled Puppy's Birthday

Scenes from Couper's seventh birthday party...

The presents sitting and waiting. One might observe that the table on which the presents are posing is awfully short. I wonder if that will come into play. One might also observe the stuff on the sofa. Yes, that pile was previously on the coffee table. Professional photographers might have moved them out of the camera shot. Professional photographers might also charge you for seeing these photos. I call it an even trade off.

"Come on mommy, let's go!!! We've got presents!!!  Hurry!!!"

Somehow, Couper actually knows what presents are and assumes all presents are for him. I have no idea how he could presume such a thing after six years here. Couper also is noticing that the table seems awfully short.

The present on the far end is his "big present" and the one he is supposed to open last. Couper has different ideas.

From here, we miss Couper jumping on the table and knocking down a gift bag.  In retrospect, I wish I had taken a picture of that, but in real time, I was shouting, "Couper, get off the table!!!!".  Not sure why I should have been surprised by him jumping up there.  Maybe I was just reacting the way I thought I was supposed to react.

Dachshund head in dachshund bag leaving only dachshund hiney.  He does this with all the presents he gets.  We have a hundred photos like this.  It's amazing that we get to reuse these bags year after year for birthdays and Christmas.  The tissue paper is a little less reusable.

The "big present".  A puppy boomerang.  It says it is virtually indestructible.  We'll see.

Couper gets toys.  Who knew he liked toys.  A very interested observer comes over to check things out.  "When is it my birthday???", thinks Godiva.

And it goes on and on like this.  He gets lots of presents.

The loot.  Toys, yummies, and cards.  Yes, he got three cards.  Nope, he still can't read.

And that's it for a spoiled puppy's birthday.  What have we learned?  Not much.  I guess just that it is good to be a spoiled puppy.  Where do we sign up for that gig?

Happy Birthday Couper!!!

Happy seventh birthday to our site's founder and inspiration, Couper. Applying the seven years rule, he is now unofficially the oldest member of the household. Since he took control of the house years ago, there is little to be added for this honor.

Seven sounds old. It seems like yesterday that he was four. However, he has had a much better six than he had a five. Last year at this time he was coming off a summer of tummy problems and starting to have mysterious yelps whenever his nose was touched. He was sleeping in and not playing like he used to. He took a lot of medicine at five. I was almost ready to concede that he would never be back to his old playing self again. Thankfully the last year has been much better. He is like a puppy again. So, his six was a redo of his five, therefore, now he is six. Let's hope it is as good as his last six.

By the way, if he is six again, that makes me the elder of the house once more (I am not like a puppy again). It's kind of like getting a promotion without a raise. Congratulations to me!

Happy birthday Couper from the Poop!

Happy 1st Birthday Godiva!!!

One year ago today, God was taking it easy, when the following thought came to him:

You know, there's just not enough mischief in the world today. I don't mean evil mischief or idiots blowing crap up. I know there is more than enough of that stupidity. In fact, I really should get going fixing all that. No, I mean old fashioned honest to goodness fun mischief. Like stealing socks and running around with them. Or chewing things you're not supposed to chew. That kind of mischief. And only a special kind of creature can pull off such fun mischief without it crossing the line to bad mischief. That creature has to be the cutest creature in the whole world. Hey, look, there is a piebald miniature dachshund about to be born down there in Arizona. Her name shall eventually be Godiva and I shall give her the gift of fun mischief. Nobody could ever stay mad at her.

And so, Godiva was born. And try as she may, no matter how much laundry, or worse, that she steals, we can't stay mad at her.

Happy first birthday Godiva from Daddy (Big Buddy), Godiva/Couper's Mommy, and yes, even Couper.

(As it happens, I had to be out of town all week...it is the saddest I have ever been. Even sadder than that time that I ... uh oh, I am quoting The Family Guy... we may have a new saddest ever)

Make A Run For The Border

One of the advantages of having dachshunds is that they cannot reach any food in the kitchen that we don’t drop on the floor. My sister has labs and if food isn’t put on the back edge of the counter or the very middle of her island, it is in serious danger. Try as he may, and he does, Couper cannot jump up to our counter or island to snatch the leftover chicken. We know that he is not adverse to taking a sip of beer or milk when he can get it off the coffee table.

Our weak link is the kitchen table. The dogs cannot reach the kitchen table on their own, of course, but the chairs are certainly doable and they could reach from there. To our knowledge, they have never tried this. We like to think it is because our puppies are well behaved and would never go somewhere they knew they didn’t belong. More likely it is because the chairs are swivel chairs and they somehow decided that the dangers of jumping on them outweigh the rewards of what is on the table.

Until recently.

A day before Couper’s sixth birthday, Couper’s Mommy brought home a taco and a bean burrito from Taco Bell for lunch. She sat down at the kitchen table and had just finished her taco, when she got a call. She left the table for only a minute to look something up on the computer. When she returned, she found Couper, back paws on the chair, front paws on the table, helping himself to the remnants of her taco; some lettuce, some sour cream, some taco sauce, maybe some meat – the normal outflow from a Taco Bell taco. Upon seeing this, Couper’s Mommy shooed him off the chair. The bean burrito sat there untouched.

It is impossible to tell what got into Couper's head. Maybe he had been planning this for years and with the wisdom and athleticism of turning six, finally figured out how to get onto the swivel chair without killing himself. Maybe he has practiced jumping on the chair before, without our noticing. Maybe the lure of Taco Bell was just too much and he went for it.

However, if you work in the Taco Bell marketing department two things should be apparent:

• Now that Chihuahuas have gone big time with a movie and all, maybe it is time for a dachshund to be the spokesdog of Taco Bell. Couper is available and his salary demands are reasonable.
• Bean burritos must be awful. That a hungry dog, taking a chance on injuring himself and getting in big trouble, would rather eat taco remnants than a full bean burrito is not a good sign. Your only hope is that my Little Buddy is his Big Buddy’s Little Buddy. I wouldn’t eat a bean burrito on a bet. Maybe he hopped up there and asked himself, “What would my Big Buddy do?” (If Couper does get the Taco Bell spokesgig, we will spin this differently – “Taco Bell: Our taco fixins are great”. “Taco Bell: Bean burritos; door stops or caulk – you decide”.)

In the end, even though Couper has had tummy troubles lately, he did not get the runs from his little adventure. We have learned that we have to pay more attention to what we leave on the kitchen table, especially since we have since replaced our swiveling kitchen chairs with much more dachshund-jumping-friendly four legged chairs. Finally, we learned that bean burritos are safe around dachshunds and likely deadly for anybody else. I’ll take the chalupa.