Monday, March 10, 2008

1001 Dachshunds

If you have not heard (they are very publicity shy), Disney is re-releasing 101 Dalmatians on DVD “for a limited time”. If you like dogs, you certainly cannot go wrong purchasing this classic. They don’t go into much detail (again marketing is not Disney’s strong suit), but it apparently is re-mastered as well.

However, let’s say you have only $20 to spend on a dog movie this century. You could go to the store today and buy 101 Dalmatians, a movie you have seen hundreds of times since childhood, before Disney put it in a "vault". Or you could wait for the Big Buddy/Little Buddy production of 1001 Dachshunds, a classic-to-be that you have never seen before. The movie has not yet been green-lighted, but I can say that 1001 dachshunds sure sounds greater than 101 dalmatians, does it not?

So when will 1001 Dachshunds hit the screen? Hard to say at this point. Big Buddy/Little Buddy Productions is stretched a little thin right now. Our development staff is also hard at work on the following projects:

Dachshund or No Dachshund: Twenty-six models hold twenty-six cases, each holding a breed of dog. One of the cases contains a pure bred dachshund!!! Contestants pick a case to keep and then pick the remaining cases to see the dog breed contained within. At the end of each round, “the breeder” will give the contestant an offer of a dog with a percentage of dachshund in it. The breeder wants the contestant to go home with a dog having the least percentage of dachshund possible. Contestants, of course, hope that their case is the one containing the pure dachshund.

Are You Smarter than a Dachshund: Contestants are given challenges to see if they are “indeed smarter than a dachshund". For instance, the dachshund poops. The contestant gives the dachshund a yummie. If the dachshund does not eat that yummie, does the contestant then give the dachshund a second different yummie? If the dachshund eats both yummies, then the contestant is definitely not smarter than a dachshund.

1 vs. 100 Dachshunds: Contestants try to answer questions as a panel of 100 dachshunds bark at them.

Little Buddy Biscuit: The epic story of a dachshund that nobody wanted, but eventually found the right owners and pursued his dream of winning the Wiener Nationals.

Couper’s Poop: Despite claims to the contrary, this crap doesn’t write itself.

You might be asking yourself, “shouldn’t the production company be called Big Buddy/Couper’s Mommy/Little Buddy productions? Wouldn’t that help get these projects finished?” Yes, it should and would; however, whenever we bounce a project idea off Couper’s Mommy she always gives the following answer, “you two are on your own with that one”. We’ll see if those fat cats in Hollywood give us the same feedback. What do you say Disney? If you can’t beat us, join us. We’ll even help you with marketing.

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