Puppy Bowl V

Once again we here at the Poop encourage you to watch the big game on Sunday. Of course we are referring to Puppy Bowl V on Animal Planet.

And as with last year, we are disappointed that there are no dachshunds among the participants. However, unlike last year, we have a puppy dachshund this year. Yes, at almost 11 months, she is much older than the other participants (they seem about 10 weeks old), but who knows when this was taped.

Since nobody called, let's see how Godiva would have stacked up to Puppy Bowl standards:

• Cuter than Cute: Check
• Run around like a nut: Yes
• Provoke other dogs: Yes and how
• Play in the water bowl (filmed by the legendary water bowl cam): Whenever possible
  
• Poop and/or Pee indiscriminately: Yes, especially indoors and on carpet (especially when 10 weeks old).
• Tear toys apart: Yes, a specialty
• Relentless (won't start something, get scared, and hide in a corner): Yes

So, clearly Godiva would have been an ideal Puppy Bowl player. It is Animal Planets' loss that they did not call.

As for the other game on Sunday, what should our puppies have been invited to play with the hometown Cardinals?

Well, Couper is a natural receiver. There is nothing he likes better than chasing thrown balls. Sometimes Godiva will line up opposite Couper just like a cornerback on a receiver. No matter that Godiva may have the speed advantage, Couper uses his strength and desire to get the ball (often while being interfered with - Godiva is not big on rules).

So, obviously Godiva would not be a cornerback. Her best position would probably be running back. She is great at taking an object, running with it, and eluding people wanting to take the object away. Usually that object is a sock, but the coaching staff could convince her that she is not allowed to have the ball. On the down side, she does not always run forward.

Unfortunately, neither Couper or Godiva were called to play in that game either. The Cards will have to make due with Larry Fitzgerald and Edgerrin James. Good luck with that. It's probably just as well. I would cringe at the Steelers hitting my little buddies.