Couper And His Floppy Disc

Couper's Aunt Buddy (my sister) got me a camera for Christmas to do videos for the blog. Seeing that it is April, I figured I should probably get around to doing just that.

I am new at the video stuff, so please excuse the lighting that looks like it came from a Paris Hilton "home video". Let's pretend that was done on purpose and call it art.

Here are two videos of Couper playing with the toy his Gramma Buddy got him for Christmas; his Floppy Disc. He likes to bury it under his blanket and "dig" it out:



In the second video, I make the mistake of sitting down to get the low angle. Big Buddy sitting down equals, "let's play fetch with Big Buddy". So we do. Enjoy the quality shot of my left foot. We'll pretend that was also done for artistic purposes, not by mistake. Does my voice really sound like that? It does when I speak to a little dog.



In case you were wondering, most of the background noise is from the TV in the kitchen. Yes, Couper's Mommy is watching the Biggest Loser finale. Enjoy the videos before NBC demands they be taken down for copyright infringement.

Happy Tax Day From the Poop

It's a slightly different picture of Couper with the Buddyweiser, but you get the idea. Tax Day and passing out with a beer. Seems about right.

I think Tax Day is best summed up by Homer Simpson as he watches news coverage of people lining up at the post office to beat the April 15th deadline:

Would you look at those morons... I paid my taxes over a year ago!

I agree. Anyhow, if you have not done your taxes this year, don't forget to declare you dachshund as a dependent. As Couper's Mommy said this week, "we spend as much on Couper as a lot of people do on their kids". All you have to do is point that out to your friendly IRS Auditor and I am sure that everything will turn out just fine.

Tune in for my next post, from lovely Leavenworth, Kansas as I detail Couper's attempts to bake a cake with a file in it for his Big Buddy.

You Are What You're Fed

Couper’s Mommy and I make an effort to try to eat right. We don’t exactly kill ourselves trying - we both work (Lottery, hello???) and resort to heat-up meals and pizza from time to time - but we try. We also are on a budget right now and try not to go crazy with exotic foods or eating out too much. Generally we eat, to varying degrees, a lot of chicken, some pasta, hamburgers, steak, and of course pizza.

Couper on the other hand eats this:

• Main breakfast and dinner: Evo – (Beef, lamb, buffalo, venison, potatoes, eggs, apples, carrots, tomatoes)
• Breakfast Add-in: Salmon treats.
• Dinner Add-in: Born to be Wild – ($25/lb) (Bison, elk, venison, freeze dried fresh fruits and vegetables, concentrated Omega3, Anitoxidants)
  
• Yummies:
• Chicken and Apple – ($18/lb) - Free Range chicken wrapped around an apple. He loves these and get them as a reward if he does a number 3 (that's a number one and number two in one trip outside).
  
• Chicken Jerky - $25 a pound
• Turkey Jerky - $25 a pound - When available
  
• Liver Biscotti
• Newman Biscuits
• Iams Biscuits
• Freeze Dried Ice Cream (Previously mentioned).
• Pupperoni – We know that is not healthy, but sometimes you have to eat the equivalent of McDonalds/Dairy Queen

Before we go on to how we got to this point let me point out a couple of things. Couper's Mommy and I never eat things that are $25/lb. I think I would have six coronaries while grilling something that was $25/lb and then would not be able to enjoy it afterwards because it couldn't live up to expectations - not to mention the six coronaries, which I bet hurts. Couper's Mommy and I also rarely eat exotic stuff like venison, elk, and lamb. We rarely have buffalo. I am not sure I want venison or elk, but it sounds exciting. All the chicken that Couper's Mommy and I eat have never seen a free range in their lives, unless there are free range McNuggets that I don't know about. There, I got that off my chest.

How we got here...
It wasn’t always like this. When we first got Couper, he was “eating” Kibbles and Bits. Closer to the truth is he was picking at Kibbles and Bits but really saving his appetite for yummies. One day I went to Wal-Mart and they were giving away sample bags of Iams. The lady patiently explained to me that the sample was to take home for my dog and not for me to eat at the store (to be safe, when offered samples of chicken enchiladas at Costco, I now ask if it is for me or the dog – they generally are not amused). Anyhow, I brought it home, Couper ate it, and we switched to the “healthier” dog food.

As time passed we added more Iams products to Couper’s diet. They invented three varieties of sauce to mix with his food; beef, chicken, and bacon. Of course Couper’s Big Buddy was all over buying him that. Couper loved that stuff and eventually became picky about eating without it. Iams also got in the business of making pouches of wet dog food. It was not messy like cans and actually looked pretty decent. Couper would inhale those when he was lucky enough to get them.
Couper always had top notch yummies, but we did have a lot more Beggin' Treats and Snausages in those days to go along with his freeze dried ice cream and liver biscotti.

Things were going along pretty smoothly until the spring of 2007 and the big pet food recall. At first it looked like we were safe, that only the most generic of canned dog foods were involved. Then it kept expanding. Soon it was discovered that many of the major manufacturers were using the same suppliers. Then we saw Couper’s Iams sauce and pouched foods on the list. One or the other that we fed him at least once daily for the last six months. The codes on the products we had corresponded with the recalled codes.

To make matters worse, while investigating dog food on the internet, we discovered that grapes were bad for dogs. Couper’s Mommy and I had been eating grapes for desert in our quest to eat healthy. One day one of us (likely Big Buddy – maybe even accidentally) dropped one and Couper ate it right up. Not knowing any better, we began to share them with him. Hey, they’re natural right? Must be OK. It got to the point that if we had grapes and were not sharing, he would give us the sad-eyed stare down. If we ate them on the sofa, he would not just climb up on our laps to get a grape, he would climb up our bodies. We also got into the habit of putting a grape in with his dog food if he needed incentive to eat.

So between the Iams recall and grapes, we were scared to death. To compound things, Couper had hurt his back the previous Christmas. Now we were unsure if his occasional lethargy was due to his back or our poisoning him (A subsequent vet visit confirmed it was his back).

We had visited the “natural dog food store” in our town (your town has one too, I guarantee it) before, but despite a lecture from the owner on the evils of “corporate” dog food and the virtues of “natural” food, had stayed with Iams. After the recall, we were determined to change. We did our research on the internet and decided to go with Dick Van Patten’s Natural Balance. Yes, dog food endorsed by name by the dad on Eight is Enough. How could we go wrong? It’s not like his snacks were named after Willie Ames. (Side note: Dick Van Patten beat out Paul Newman, thought you would never see that in print in any context, did you?). Well, it went wrong. Couper enjoyed the food, but not more than a month or two later, some of Dick’s products were recalled. Amazingly, two of the products we had bought were among the recalled items. We should have known better, considering the haphazard way he raised Nicolas all those years ago.

So we changed foods again. This time we went primal with Evo, which claims to be "the ancestral diet". We stopped buying chicken jerky from Costco, despite the appealing price, because it was made in China and started buying the $25/pound variety made in the USA. Although Couper likes his new food, we got talked into the Born to Be Wild supplement that he scarfs down. Hopefully, we now have the healthiest eating dog in the world. He at least eats healthier than his best human friends. It seems easier to eat healthy when you are being fed then when you have control of your own diet. Maybe we should have Couper feed us. Then maybe we can find out if we like elk and venison.

Happy St. Patrick's Day from the Poop

Before we start with the St. Patty's Day festivities, let's first wish Couper's youngest human cousin a happy 4th birthday! She loves to play with Couper and for some reason pronounces his name Quepa; as if she were from Brooklyn (she isn't). So in honor of her birthday, that is how we will say his name for the remainder of this post.

Now on with the show.

Happy St. Patrick's Day from the Poop!!!

I know, I know. We have run that picture of Quepa and the beer toy four or five times already. But, drinking is what you think about when you think St. Patrick's Day, right? They don't have Irish Whiskey, Irish Cream, Irish Coffee, Irish Mist, Irish Wakes, and the Kennedy's for nothing. But so as not to stereotype the Irish or St. Patrick's Day, here is a picture of Quepa with another of Ireland's fine products:


Oh, who are we kidding:


Happy St. Patty's Day from Quepa and the Poop!.

Happee Birfday Big Buddy

Hi everywon. Couper heer. Big Buddy left the compewt0r on, so I hopped up here to wish him a Happee Birfday. Nice securitee Big Bud! Anyhow, my Big Buddys birfday is today and Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff. Sorry, a berd waz on the wall owtside. He is gone now. You may onedur how I am tieping? I have fore paws, a noze, and a tale. I am a tieping masheen. Back to my Big Buddys birfday. My mommy saz he is reel old. How old? Well when he waz born Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff. Sorry, kids were playing baketball outside. Wear waz I? O yeah, Big Buddy has a birfday tooday. He and my mommy are having kake. I kant have kake. I get to have a peenut butur biscut instead. What kind of cra Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff Ruff. Sorry kidz playing baketball again. I hav to go take kare of this. Happee Birfday Big Buddy!!!

1001 Dachshunds

If you have not heard (they are very publicity shy), Disney is re-releasing 101 Dalmatians on DVD “for a limited time”. If you like dogs, you certainly cannot go wrong purchasing this classic. They don’t go into much detail (again marketing is not Disney’s strong suit), but it apparently is re-mastered as well.

However, let’s say you have only $20 to spend on a dog movie this century. You could go to the store today and buy 101 Dalmatians, a movie you have seen hundreds of times since childhood, before Disney put it in a "vault". Or you could wait for the Big Buddy/Little Buddy production of 1001 Dachshunds, a classic-to-be that you have never seen before. The movie has not yet been green-lighted, but I can say that 1001 dachshunds sure sounds greater than 101 dalmatians, does it not?

So when will 1001 Dachshunds hit the screen? Hard to say at this point. Big Buddy/Little Buddy Productions is stretched a little thin right now. Our development staff is also hard at work on the following projects:

Dachshund or No Dachshund: Twenty-six models hold twenty-six cases, each holding a breed of dog. One of the cases contains a pure bred dachshund!!! Contestants pick a case to keep and then pick the remaining cases to see the dog breed contained within. At the end of each round, “the breeder” will give the contestant an offer of a dog with a percentage of dachshund in it. The breeder wants the contestant to go home with a dog having the least percentage of dachshund possible. Contestants, of course, hope that their case is the one containing the pure dachshund.

Are You Smarter than a Dachshund: Contestants are given challenges to see if they are “indeed smarter than a dachshund". For instance, the dachshund poops. The contestant gives the dachshund a yummie. If the dachshund does not eat that yummie, does the contestant then give the dachshund a second different yummie? If the dachshund eats both yummies, then the contestant is definitely not smarter than a dachshund.

1 vs. 100 Dachshunds: Contestants try to answer questions as a panel of 100 dachshunds bark at them.

Little Buddy Biscuit: The epic story of a dachshund that nobody wanted, but eventually found the right owners and pursued his dream of winning the Wiener Nationals.

Couper’s Poop: Despite claims to the contrary, this crap doesn’t write itself.

You might be asking yourself, “shouldn’t the production company be called Big Buddy/Couper’s Mommy/Little Buddy productions? Wouldn’t that help get these projects finished?” Yes, it should and would; however, whenever we bounce a project idea off Couper’s Mommy she always gives the following answer, “you two are on your own with that one”. We’ll see if those fat cats in Hollywood give us the same feedback. What do you say Disney? If you can’t beat us, join us. We’ll even help you with marketing.

Happy President's Day From The Poop

I don't actually get President's Day off, but Couper's Mommy does. Couper of course has every day off.

My favorite things about President's Day are the bad (usually local) ads. The best was a bed store ad that had a guy playing Lincoln say, "I need to pay too much for a mattress like a need a hole in my head!" (Tasteless? Absolutely. But admit it, when you saw bed store and President's Day, you were thinking, "here comes the Clinton joke". Now who's tasteless?)

I have absolutely no connection between President's Day and Couper. So below is a picture of Couper playing with Quacky the Duck. For one day only, Quacky the Duck will be renamed Mallard Fillmore. (By the way, Quacky Mallard no longer has any legs - guess who is responsible for that? If Mallard were in a President's Day commercial he would say, "I would give my left leg for a deal on a new transmission!")